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Shocking news: Sushant Singh Rajput commits suicide

The last thing that the Indians were expecting amid this global pandemic was the death of the young and talented actor- Sushant Singh Rajput. Almost all the hashtags trending on twitter were talking about this awful news. Reports claim that he was in depression for the last six months. Another gem lost! The announcement was disheartening, but what more shocking was that he committed suicide! Perhaps anyone who has ever seen him on any television show or award functions would have noticed how positive and vibrant he was. There wasn’t even a trace of stress on his face. What further ironic was that he starred in movies like “Chhichhore” and “M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story” which were all about never losing hope, never giving up, and dealing with failures and yet…

Some people say things like- ‘Only cowards commit suicide’ or ‘People who commit suicide are selfish; they didn’t think about their families and loved ones.’ I mean, seriously? Try to think it in this way- if there is a certain weight in the gym. You have to lift it. The whole world is also saying that you have to lift it. You also know the perfect technique to lift that weight. But that weight is way more than your maximum weight lifting capacity. You tried, and you failed to lift it. What will you call that person? A coward? Selfish? Did he do wrong? Well, there is no right and wrong in it. He couldn’t lift it simply because he lacked the strength to lift it. He was not capable, and hence he had no other choice.

Today for most of us, it’s shocking news perhaps because we are still on the highs (or not so lows) of the roller coaster that life is. And that’s why we are putting WhatsApp and Instagram statuses, telling us why we should never give up, and if anyone experiences any such feeling, they can speak to us, etc. But, Sushant must be knowing all this, isn’t it? The movie ‘Chhichhore’ depicted the story of a child who attempted suicide in which Sushant himself delivers these lines-

(“Everybody has plans on what to do after success, but nobody wants to talk about what to do if by chance failure comes in the way”)

Then why? Every one of us is desperate to find the reason for his taking such a big step. We don’t understand the cause yet, or a better word would be ‘stimulus.’ We don’t know the stimulus yet, but with a little thinking, we can see that we know the reason that was triggered by that unknown stimulus.

If I had to cut it short and say one word, I would say- power. Not physical, but emotional power or soul power whatever we name it. I think it’s time that we start taking emotional well being as responsibly as we take physical well being and mental well being. We saw how a particular physical strength is required to lift the physical weights. With the same analogy, we can easily see that there is an emotional weight, too, and to deal with that, we need a certain amount of emotional strength. The healthier you are, the more comfortable you play with the emotional weights in life. But easier said than done, right? Maybe or maybe not. It’s not about how easy it is; it’s more about how important it is.

One more thing that we may confuse is that we have to be more reliable when the situation already comes in. But, you won’t be suddenly stronger through any miracle. It’s how you took care of your body and the height of strength to which you raised your body to for all those years, which determines the maximum weight that you could lift when the pressure comes. Now, let us ask ourselves this- how many of us are doing something on regular days (when life is going smooth) for increasing our emotional strength?

(“We have entangled ourselves so much in winning and losing, success and failure that we have forgotten to live life. If there is anything most important in life, it’s life itself in the first place”)

I hope we all learn from what happened and what has been happening. Let us all promise to work on our emotional strength from now onward. Watch motivational videos, gain pure and divine knowledge, read positive books, be happy, and spread happiness. Let us try to be in a better state of mind than we were in yesterday. Let us help everyone around who are maybe not so strong and are struggling with their weights. Let’s make it easier for them by empowering them. If even one person after reading this feels uplifted, a little more positive, and a bit more hopeful, then I believe this long post was worth it.

Rest in peace, Sushant!

PS:- Feel free to suggest topics for future posts in the comment section. Also, share anything you have to say after reading this. ðŸ™‚

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Why am I Unhappy in Life: Psychology Behind Happiness

Our default nature is being happy or putting it in a slightly different manner- Happiness is our natural state. Look at the face of a baby or a little child. Don’t they seem to be radiating innocence and happiness? They don’t need a reason to be happy, are not even aware that they ‘have to be happy’; they just ‘are happy’- as simple as that. Well, we all were babies. So? What went wrong?

Some of us must be thinking now that babies don’t have problems; they don’t have to deal with their jobs or businesses, they don’t have to be in complex and crucial relationships; no one is ‘bad’ to them, and everyone loves them and care for them. Fair enough! But they do have their problems. Think about it; they don’t know how to walk correctly, don’t know how to talk accurately, can’t even move on their own, can’t express that they are hungry or need something, or they are feeling cold, or hot, nothing at all! Are these small challenges? Let us put ourselves in any of those situations. Even if people around us assure us that they will help us do all those things, we will still like to do all those things on our own. Nobody wants to be in such a paralytic state, right? So, we can’t just blame that they don’t have any problems just because they are happy and we aren’t. There are many things that we can learn from these little pure angels, perhaps more than we ever imagined. They are kind of the original products which later becomes adulterated, so we can anytime refer to these originals to know what is there in us, which is unwanted and is stopping us from experiencing that natural bliss. In short, before learning something, we all will have to unlearn something first. So, what is there which we need to unlearn?

Let us all first ask ourselves a simple question: What, in my view, are the factors that correlate with my happiness? Different minds will answer differently, but some answers will be- money, fame, any person, doing particular work, etc. We can say that these factors are like the necessary ingredients for a delicious meal (happiness) that we want to cook.

Let’s examine! Money brings comfort to our lives, but a ‘wealthy’ person isn’t necessarily ‘happy.’ Similarly, fame brings in people’s attention and maybe appreciation, but does it bring happiness too? Think about celebrities and movie stars. They do have money and fame, no doubt. Why so many of them go even to the heights of committing suicide despite having money and fame? An average happy person can never think of doing that! What about a person in our life? Can he/she give me happiness? It may be tempting to say yes but think deeply. We all must have experienced this situation where we use to like a person a lot, but over time, something happened, and sometimes nothing at all happened, but we stopped feeling nice for that same person.

We may argue that individually they are not sufficient, and ‘all’ of them are needed. Again, think about a baby. How many of these factors do they have? Another argument may be that different people have different elements of happiness, and also, with time, those factors keep changing. But remember, by saying this, we are trying to say that to cook the same meal, different people need different ingredients, and with time these ingredients change. Absurd, right? The only explanation for this is that they weren’t the ingredients!

So, a very sensible question arises- What is the ingredient? What is that which has a direct correlation with our state of mind? And no matter how anti-climatic it sounds to us, but the answer is ‘our very own thoughts.’ Let that sink in a bit! Why is it so that I feel good even when I ‘think’ about me having a lot of money and being with my favorite person even when I don’t have them with me? Does their presence give me happiness or the right positive thoughts about having them provide me with joy? Why, even after getting a hold on these things, the ‘good feeling’ is short-lived, and then again, I am in a search for something more? Because the ingredient (thought) changed from time to time and from person to person, and that is why we didn’t always get our delicious meal. Sometimes we did get, but sometimes we weren’t even close because sometimes we used the right ingredients and sometimes we didn’t. It’s just that we put the right ingredients only when we got money or that particular person or anything that we thought as a factor of happiness, and all other times we kept using the wrong ones!

If we carefully analyze, we will realize that nothing and no one can make us feel good or bad. It is our thoughts at that moment that determines our feeling at that moment. It was our kind, and positive thoughts for that person which were making us experience heavens in their presence, and our very own changed views now that are creating the strains.

Whenever we feel low, we need to be a little aware and ask ourselves what the thought was on which our mind was churning. We always will find a thought (no matter how subtle) which had been causing either worry or fear or guilt or hurt or jealousy or irritation or maybe something else of that kind. Let us quote this for ourselves: Every time we experience a good or a bad feeling, there is always a corresponding thought triggering that feeling.

But, wait for a second! What about the babies we discussed earlier? They don’t think before they think. They don’t choose their thoughts and decide- “OK, I’ll only think nice.” True. They don’t. But reiterating the starting line- Happiness is our natural state. So, if it isn’t unhappiness, it is happiness! If there aren’t negative thoughts, there are, by default, the positive ones!

Finally, the most crucial dilemma. Will we be happy just by knowing that our thoughts create our happiness? Perhaps no, not immediately. It’s like any other thing we achieve in life. There is no magic! It takes constant awareness and practice to gradually increase the time duration for which we are happy by reducing spans of those ‘bad’ hours that we were otherwise living out of those fixed 24 hours every day. How to do that? Let that be a topic for another discussion that can be tabled at a later point of time, but learning this at least enabled us to know where to work on the next time we feel low. Otherwise, we were trying out any random stuff to save us from the emptiness, for example- watching movies to distract ourselves from the actual problem. Just to make more sense, if we have persistent pain in our body parts, knowing the reason for the pain won’t relieve me of it but will at least enable me to know which medicine to take.

The takeaway is that no matter how difficult it might be appearing at present, the truth is that, irrespective of the situations that come across, it is possible to remain happy by thinking right.

PS:- Feel free to suggest topics for future posts in the comment section. Also, share anything you have to say after reading this. 🙂